Sunday Morning on the Porch

The porch is my favorite place to be on a summer morning, fresh air, peace and quiet.

I’ve lived through another week of school.  It’s intense, no question about that.  I have a check-off on skills and I have an exam this week.  I do have Monday off, though.  I worked two long days in a row yesterday and Friday, very tiring but tips were good.  Yesterday after 7+ hours on my feet, I walked home, discovered that my flower boxes were in desperate need of watering and rushed to do so, then had just enough time to change and rush over to 4:30 Mass. I got there just in time, so after kneeling for a quick prayer I stood for the entrance song, Act of Contrition, the Gloria and the Collect.  Of course, when I sat down for the readings, fatigue hit me like a ton of bricks.  I think I dozed off for a bit  during the sermon, which is not at all the fault of Fr. Mike, his sermon was great, I was just that tired.  I walked back home on legs that felt like lead weights.  I had wanted to take a bike ride but decided I needed to rest, so I relaxed and read for a bit, made myself a nice meal, then studied for a while.  And that was my exciting Saturday night!

I’m going to Mass here in town more often.  I still belong to my little church out in the country.  However with our new priest and new cluster, we only have Mass every other week at our church, and the other churches in our cluster are too far away to drive to.  So I just walk the 6 blocks to the one here in town.  I like it well enough, but I do prefer my own little church.  I miss seeing everyone.  I had been waffling about whether or not to teach Faith Formation this year but finally decided that I really need to step out.  I’ve been doing it for quite a few years, and although it has been a struggle at times I’ve mostly enjoyed it and I’ll miss it.  But I’ve been waiting for 3 years to do this PTA program, and it is rigorous and demands my attention.  So, I will step down and trust that the Lord will prompt someone to take my place.  After I graduate, I may be ready and able to teach again, in some capacity.  Or perhaps the Lord will have another task for me.   But with Mass there only 2 or 3 times a month, and with me not teaching, I will feel a little isolated from my little parish.  But maybe I will start to feel more at home at the church here in town?

Madeline has survived her first week at college and is doing reasonably well.  She’s still not used to it and feels a little uncertain, but I’m confident that she’ll be fine.  We finally talked a little on Friday night and she sounded tired, but good.  Tomorrow I will go to Dubuque to see Jacob’s new apartment, and I’ll bring my laptop so we can Skype with Madeline.

Then into another school week.  It’s easy to see that between school and work I will be very, very busy.  I will need to be sure to take care of myself and not push too much.  I am glad I did not try to do this program while the kids were still at home, it would have been difficult.  SOme of the people in my class do still have young kids at home, and they say it is hard.  But– it is only for 2 years!

Speaking of school– I still am in the yahoo group for homeschoolers here in town, and it is fun to see all the “not-back-to-school” activities and reminders about filing the forms for homeschooling.  I’m done with that!

Farewell to Fr. David

Seven and one-half years ago Fr. David became the priest for our cluster of 4 parishes.  Our former pastor, Fr. Fitz, had died in May, 2003, and since then we were served by a rotation of retired priests.  We weren’t even sure we would get a new priest assigned to us.  There is a shortage of priests in the Catholic church, and we’d been warned our churches may be closed.  When we heard Fr. David was to be assigned to us, we were thrilled to get a priest– any priest.

Enter Fr. David, a new priest but not a young one.  He had been a teacher for a while, then entered the Peace Corps, then after that entered seminary.  He had a beard and mustache, and long hair he kept pulled back in a pony tail.  He drove a tiny old car with a peace sign on the back.  Not quite what our little, rural church was expecting, but we loved him right from the start.

Fr. David is a kind, generous man, with a heart for the Eucharist and a passion for social justice.  He was patient with us, slowly but firmly getting our Liturgies and our parishes better in line with what was expected by the Diocese.  He listened to our complaints with great forbearance.  He shared in the difficult decisions.  He brought together our parishes and helped us all to learn to share, to be generous– not an easy task with four independent, proud parishes!

I was on the parish council for 3 years during that time, and was always impressed with how well he handled things.  Change comes hard to people, and we had a lot of changes coming from the Diocese during his tenure.  He was so patient with our complaints and questions, he was sympathetic to our concerns, yet he never wavered in doing what he needed to do.  It could not have been easy.  He helped at our Faith Formation classes for the middle and high school students, and my co-teacher and I were very grateful to him for that– not all priests are so generous with their time.

While he was our priest he traveled to Cuba, Guatemala and Mexico, and always shared his experiences afterwards.  Several years ago he took a sabbatical in the Holy Land, an experience which touched him deeply.  He brought his experiences there into his sermons, enriching us all.  He  did a PowerPoint presentation of it for our Faith Formation classes, and the kids were almost mesmerized by it– it was a wonderful thing for them to see.

I knew he wouldn’t be with us forever, and had a feeling this would be the year he was transferred.  I’m sad to see him go, but I’m grateful for the time we had with him.  He is the priest my kids will most remember from their childhood, and I could not ask for a better priest for them than this man, who combined a firm devotion to the Church and the Eucharist and a commitment to live out the command of Jesus to serve others.

His new parishes will be blessed to have him.

As for our cluster of 4 parishes, we have been split up, with 2 joining one cluster and 2 another.  This Sunday will be our first Mass with our new priest.  I have heard very good things about him.  I know there will be adjustments and I’ve already experienced the fears and complaints of some of my fellow parishioners, but most of us are choosing to trust that the Spirit is at work and that, as Julian of Norwich said, All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

…………

In other news, it is Independence Day, it is 10:30 in the morning , and the temperature is already 91.  Zoinks!

Rites of Passage

It’s May, a month of sunshine and flowers and birds, and also a month of endings and beginnings.

Daughter Madeline had two rites of passage this weekend.  Yesterday at church we had the May crowning, as we always do on Mother’s Day.  May is a month when Catholics remember and honor Mary, the mother of Jesus, in a special way.  It’s customary to have the children process with flowers to place before a statue of Mary, and then one of the older girls (usually one who is a senior in high school) places a circlet of flowers on the head of the statue.  This year my daughter was the one to do it.  It’s a lovely thing, to see all the little ones march in with their flowers, and I was proud to see my daughter place the flowers on the statue.  She’d watched the older girls do it over the years and was excited to take her turn.

She also had her last piano recital.  She played the original version of Beethoven’s “Fur Elise” and did a beautiful job.  Her piano teacher always honors graduating seniors with a talk called “This is your piano life” and it is always fun to hear what she has to say.  She really gets to know her student and it’s obvious that she really enjoys her job.  I liked hearing what she had to say about Madeline, it’s good as a parent to hear another person’s perspective.

So, I think she has 3 more weeks of her class at the public school, and that will be done.  More changes are coming in her life, but she is ready for them and it’s a beautiful thing.

Winding down…

Sunday evening, after yet another busy week/weekend.

Madeline finished both physics and pre-calculus this week!  And finished well– she gets B in both.  She says she will miss doing math, which I cannot relate to at all but is wonderful to hear!  Both my kids seem to have inherited their dad’s math aptitude, which is a blessing.  Madeline still will work on Spanish and writing, both of which are self-directed so my input will be minimal.  So we are into May and the school year is almost over.  Her piano recital is a week from today and then that will be done.  Most of her other activities continue into June but there is still a sense of winding down.

Jacob is almost done with his semester, classes are over and he just has 1 exam and a paper and he’s done.  However, he then heads off with the flight team for the national competition and will be gone 10 days.  He is still up in the air about his summer plans but will most likely stay in Dubuque, so it will be a little different around here this summer.  But that’s okay– he’s got things to do, and Madeline and I will be busy this summer too.  He passed the check-ride for his multi-engine rating this past week, another milestone for him.

I think we will have a party for Madeline’s graduation.  Jacob just wanted dinner with his sister an I, his dad and dad’s wife, and Uncle Bill.  It was only somewhat awkward.  That was 3 years ago, and since then their dad’s wife has become increasingly more unfriendly to me and Madeline would like to have other people around to offset the awkwardness, which is understandable and will also be fun.  Their dad has informed me it is my fault that wife is unfriendly; the kids have both assured me that I have been perfectly pleasant and cordial and done nothing to cause this.  And yes, they would tell me if I was behaving badly!  I had asked them about it because I feel bad– it makes it difficult for their dad and I to be together at their activities.  I actually thought the wife was a very nice person and thought we got on well at first but things deteriorated.   I still try to be pleasant and cordial but am not sure what else to do about it.  She has a lot of hostility towards me.  Ah well.

I cancelled my satellite TV this week, and am sort of regretting it at the moment since I can’t watch Mad Men or Sherlock tonight.  But I am pretty sure I will survive and will get to catch up eventually.  I did purchase a Roku unit and have set it up, so I’m feeling mildly tech-savvy.  It will save me some money.  This will be the last month I receive child support so it is time to make some changes.  I find it weird that child support in Wisconsin ends when they graduate or turn 18 (whichever comes last), yet I still have to feed and house them until they got to college.  I shouldn’t complain, though.  I’ve had things much better than many, many women (and men) who are divorced and raising children.

We made it to Mass at our own church this morning, I was lector and Madeline played piano & sang.  It was good to be there.  Father David’s sermon was about baptism and rebirth and nourishing ourselves through the Eucharist, it was excellent.  His sermons are always good but have been particularly so this Easter.

I’m still reading John Steinbeck’s Travels with Charlie  and loving it– I’ve even been reading it aloud to Madeline while she draws.  A nice side effect of no TV.

Down time

I just came off a busy, busy week.  The bosses were out-of-town from Thursday on so the rest of us worked threeverylong days at the cafe.  Friday was especially busy and I arrived home late and physically exhausted.  Saturday was better but we were all so tired we just endured.  I had yesterday and today off, and spent most of yesterday relaxing and getting my energy back.

After work on Saturday Madeline and I drove to Shullsburg and met Jacob there for dinner.   We had a nice dinner, and it was very good to see Jacob, he seemed to be well.  He’d run for president of the flight team and lost just this past week, but he was not overly upset about it.  He’s got one week left of classes and then finals, and he’s done with the semester.  Shullsburg is a very picturesque town, one of the oldest cities in Wisconsin, and as close t halfway between Monroe and Dubuque as we are likely to get.  I don’t know why we haven’t met there before but we definitely will again.  I just wish it had been warmer– it’s a lovely town to walk around in but it was too chilly on Saturday.

Madeline and I had a lovely chat on the way home– my kids and I always have the best talks in the car, it’s one of our favorite places for talking.  We talked a bit about where we used to live in the country, since we were driving near it.  I offered to go past it but she said she didn’t want to, it would make her feel too sad.  It’s always interesting to see what she remembers about things.  She lived in that house from age 5 to 11, 6 years.  She remembers it reasonably well, and liked it well enough. She liked when the field out front had corn in it, since it was fun to walk through, and when it had alfalfa and oats, because we played on the round bales.  She did not like the year there were soybeans– they smelled weird, and the dog smelled weird after running through it, and after the beans were harvested we had even more Asian ladybugs than usual (they eat the aphids in the beans).

Sunday we went to church here in town, it was a long Mass because 14 kids received First Communion, and it was beautiful.  Fr. Larry is the priest at St. Victors and he prays a beautiful Mass.  He did a great job with the kids.  After church we were pretty sluggish, but we were both tired and I make no excuses.

I’ve managed to get a few things done today, which is a good feeling.  I picked up our down comforters from the cleaners, I made bread dough, I followed up on taking a CPR course, and I cancelled out satellite TV.  The bill has been over $150 a month, and with child support ending after May, it is time to cut costs.  Of course, I am upgrading our internet connection and starting up my netflix subscription again, but I will still save about $50 per month overall.  I can live without satellite TV, but not internet…

I dropped Madeline off at homeschool gym today, and she and her friends looked so happy.  It was a good thing to see.

Monday morning

Monday morning doesn’t seem like the best time to post but I have some time and figured I’d better use it.

I did not have to work this Saturday, which was great, since the city had free yard waste drop-off on Saturday morning.  I dropped off four big bags of leaves & weeds and one big box of sticks and branches.  It took two trips in my little car.  It felt good to get that done.  I also baked some bread on Saturday but other than that did not really accomplish a whole lot.  I did start sorting through the 2 book-cases in my dining room.  I have piles of stuff on the dining room table, there because there is no where else to put them.  So in order to clear off the table I need to make space.  I found some of the kids’ writing samples from years ago, it was fun to look through them.  I even found the essays I had them write on the 5th anniversary of 9/11.  Very interesting to re-read their impressions of that day.  Of course, once I started reading everything I came across progress in the sorting stopped.

Yesterday I took Madeline and 3 of her friends to see a movie.  It was a bit of a drive and it was interesting listening to the kids talk– it was mostly the two boys a long, and those boys sure spend a lot of time playing video/computer games.  My kids are not big on that, mostly because their dad and I never bought them any.  No regrets on that decision, really.  Jacob plays sometimes now that he is in college, but he’s not real good at them so he doesn’t much enjoy it.  I suppose it would have been a way for him to connect with friends, but I don’t know.  He’s doing so well and has such interests,  and the games do seem to be a massive time-sink for many people.  This weekend, Madeline spent her time working at her job, or working on an animation project due this week, or just working on her drawing skills, or reading.   Jacob worked on an application for an internship, on campaigning for president of his flight team, on homework.  The boys in the car spent hours playing video games.  I repeat: no regrets.

I’ve been reading Jack Kerouac’s On the Road.  I’d never read it and thought I should.  I’m not too far in but can’t say I’m enjoying it.  I like the parts where he is traveling, but I’m at the part where he is in Denver with his friends and it is not engaging me at all.  I suspect when I was in my twenties

Friday thoughts

It’s Friday evening.  I’m up in my room and just spent an hour or so working on a grant application for one of the organizations I volunteer for.  I’ve never done a grant application before but no one else was interested in doing it and I figured I had nothing to lose.  I’ve got it mostly done, I’ll just polish it up later this weekend and get it in on Monday, when it is due.  I have another one to do for another organization.  It’ll be interesting to see what transpires…

I’m in my room because my daughter’s sort-of boyfriend is here and I’m giving them some space to hang out.  What is a sort-of boyfriend? They are more than friends, but not really dating in a steady way.  No regular weekend dates, no phone calls or texts or anything on a daily basis.  They have known each other since they were 5 or 6, and in the last 6 months or so they’ve just become a little more interested in each other.   It’s very low-key and low-pressure and I very much approve– much more sensible than getting all serious and heavy.

I’ve been struggling with headaches this week.  Had a horrible migraine that started Monday night and went through the following evening– dreadful.  I felt good Wednesday morning but by the afternoon I had another headache, this one a sinus which of course segued into another migraine. Very painful and discouraging, since I’d been headache free for a while.  I think they were caused by a combination of factors– too much Easter candy (why, oh why did I buy 4 bags of Cadbury mini-eggs? What was I thinking?) , and I forgot to take my loratadine on Monday so the allergies were acting up.  Also Wednesday was a bright, sunny day and while working, the reflection of cars parked outside really got to me.  I survived, though, got back on the allergy meds, and got the last of the mini-eggs out of the house since I have absolutely no self-control with them.

So I haven’t written much in April, and I miss it.  It’s been a busy couple weeks with Easter and all, not to mention time spent curled up in bed clutching my head and waiting for it to explode.  But I’m learning that writing makes me feel good, is good for me, and maybe something I am supposed to be doing.  I need to not be afraid to prioritize it.  I did write a little in my private journal, and I’ll write more this weekend– I have some stuff to work out, and it’s not for public consumption.  I am finding journaling invaluable for this sort of thing– working out a problem or issue or just venting.

Speaking of Easter– the Vigil service was wonderful.  The lectors did a fantastic job, the music was lovely.  The church was decorated so beautifully and the fragrance of the Easter lilies filled the air. We’re blessed to have a priest with a good, strong, true voice and when he chants the Exsultet (Easter Proclamation) it is incomparable.  It occurred to me this year while listening that it may be the last time I get to hear Fr. David chant it– our parish clusters are changing this summer and he may be moved to another parish.  So I made sure to enjoy it.  Fr. was really on his game, and the Mass seemed even more beautiful than usual. I love the moment when Father lights the Easter candle, and then we spread its light through the dark church, candle to candle, until the whole space is filled with candlelight, symbolizing The Light of Christ. Thanks be to God!

Holy Week

It’s Good Friday.  I’ve been enriched by the Holy Week services.

Palm Sunday at our little church was very nice this year.  We had a good turnout, the music was lovely, and the lectors did a great job reading the Passion. When I was younger I often found it too long, but not anymore.  It’s the perfect way to start the week.

On Tuesday I had dinner with my co-teacher for Faith Formation and with Fr. David, then we went to the Chrism Mass.  It’s the third time I’ve been to the Chrism Mass, and I really find it uplifting.  The Diocesan Choir sings, the music is always exceptional, and the Liturgy is beautiful.  There is something about seeing all the priest of the Diocese, along with the seminarians, that touches me.  They always seem so happy to be there, to be together.  The Bishop got a little political during his homily, which is understandable given the current situation with the new health care law, but I would prefer not to have politics in the pulpit.  The blessing and distribution of oils is always lovely.  I especially enjoyed being in a big church full with enthusiastic fellow Catholics!  It’s very encouraging.

We had our second-to-last Faith Formation class Wednesday.  It included the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  All but 2 kids chose to partake of it.  I went, and it was good.  I’ve grown to appreciate it.  I was proud of the kids, too.

Jacob arrived home from college last evening in time to grab a quick bite and then head to Holy Thursday Mass.  The Mass of the Lord’s Supper was for many years my favorite of the Sacred Triduum services.  I love the readings, remembering the first Passover, and the institution of the Eucharist, and the washing of feet as a reminder of Christ’s call to service.  I have always loved the incense, the procession and reposit of the Blessed Sacrament, and singing Tantum Ergo.   It’s a ritual I remember from my earliest days and I love it.  The service was lovely, and Fr. David’s sermon was great, but there were not a lot of people there.  Because Fr. D has 4 churches, we rotate the Triduum Masses so each church gets a different one of the services.  I don’t know why, but this Church never seems to have good attendance for Holy Thursday.  There were very few young kids there,which is always disappointing.

As always, I worked today so was unable to go to the Good Friday service– it has been years since I’ve gone.  But tonight I went to a nearby Catholic church to see a mime performance of the Passion.  Sounds strange, right?  I’m not a fan of mime, but this was absolutely amazing.  Their high school Faith Formation classes did this, and they did a beautiful job.  Rich in symbolism, respectful, not rushed, no silliness, the kids should be very, very proud.  In the past I’ve often felt I don’t focus on the Crucifixion enough, and viewing this beautiful performance helped me with that.  I came home and read the readings for today, and am feeling a little more focused on things.

Tomorrow– the Easter Vigil!  The kids and I love it.  It is at our own church, for the second year in a row, and I’m really looking forward to it. I know not everyone likes the longer service, but I do– the readings are always especially beautiful, as they take us through Salvation history.  Such a deep, meaningful, joyous time.

Falling down

Well, I did pretty well with blogging everyday until these last few days.  It’s a pity to fall down at the end but there it is.  It was partly due to being busy– I had to prepare for my faith formation class on Wednesday and it took more time than anticipated.  It’s also due to readingThe Hunger Games, which I enjoyed.

My class went well, the kids enjoyed the Seder food (unleavened bread, celery, charoset, hard-boiled eggs, grape juice) and responded well too learning about Passover and the Last Supper.  We followed it with Stations of the Cross, which also went well.  The kids always enjoy that, probably because they get to participate.  They always do better when they can be more active.

I’ve been intrigued by what I’ve heard about the hunger games, so I plowed through the book this week and saw the movie last night with my daughter and one of my friends.  I liked both.  The book isn’t great literature and the ideas are not necessarily anything new but the author did a good job of putting it together and there is some good social commentary in it.  I liked the movie as well, in spite of the violence– I think they did a good job of portraying the brutality.

As for giving up sweets for Lent, well, I’ve fallen down there, too.  Things were going mostly well, but this week I’ve been a bit PMS-y and it was getting herder.  I was also getting crabbier and crabbier.  One of the problems with being peri-menopausal is that I seem to get stuck in a phase of my cycle for weeks.  Right now I’m stuck at the crabby-and-craving-chocolate phase.  (I’ve cheated here and there but have not had chocolate at all. )  Yesterday at work, after dealing with a rude customer, I mentioned to the gang that I was craving chocolate and wanting to kill people.  J. pointed out that, if I couldn’t eat chocolate, that left killing people as my only option, and K. told me to just eat some chocolate already.  So I did, and I’m not going to lie, I feel much better.

I’m hoping to leave it there and finish Holy Week in a good way.  Hopefully…. Philippians 4:13, right?

Cold Again

March is always a fickle month; the proof of this is the weather today, 34 degrees when I woke up.  It’s been cool, cloudy and windy all day. Maybe the cooler weather will keep the grass from growing so fast– I already need to mow my lawn!  I’m putting it off, because once I start, I’ll be mowing until October.  But if I don’t do it in the next day or two, it will be too long for my reel mower…

Right now I’m sitting at the box office at the theatre guild, and sales are not quite non-existent.  Hopefully they will pick up later this week; our little group needs the money from this show badly . Anticipating slow sales, I hauled along my laptop, and I’ve had some uninterrupted time to work on things.  I’ve written my little essay for my scholarship application, which I hope to mail off tomorrow and be done with.  I’ve also worked on my lesson plans and modified Seder for class Wednesday evening, so that’s almost done. I’m working to keep the focus on how the Seder relates to our own Eucharistic Liturgy, while hopefully giving the kids a taste of how the New Covenant proceeds from the Old.  All this while not running too long or boring them.

Rather than the usual pizza snack, I’m having them munch on our little Passover meal while we talk about it.  I spent some time searching for recipes for unleavened bread.  3 years ago, when I first did my much-too-complicated Seder, I found a really nice, tasty recipe for unleavened bread.   I actually used it for the Last Supper scene in Godspell, which our theatre guild was doing at the time.  It’s possible I wrote it down somewhere, but so far I have not been able to find it, though I’ve found a few that look similar.  I also need to get apples and nuts for charoseth, and of course hard-boiled eggs, and grape juice.   Maybe celery for the bitter herbs.  I won’t do the horseradish, last time I did and the kids did NOT like it.  Too hot!

Since I spent so much time on Sunday reading, I was feeling a little stressed and rather behind on things, so having this time to work on stuff has been very nice.  Still, I wouldn’t mind doing a few sales…